It Was Not To Be 1

When I was in high school I had the biggest crush on Vivian Griffin. She was so beautiful. I wanted to ask her to the movies, but my parents said I wasn't old enough to take a girl to the movies, and I don't know why, because all my friends were taking girls to the movies. It was so frustrating. So I just dreamed of her all the time. Every night and every day when I was studying or playing baseball in the vacant lot with the other guys.

I knew that one day when I grew up and went to college and became rich and successful, I would ask Vivian Griffin to marry me, and she would become Vivian Griffin-Lawrence, and we would live happily ever after in our little town of Seacrest, maybe very close to my parents, whom I was very attached to, so we could visit often. Maybe even next door, if the Finsey's, who lived there, would move out at the right time. Then my mother could baby sit for our babies, when I took Vivian, my wife, out to the movies.

But all this was not to be.

One night my father had come into my room when I was getting into my PJs and he got this worried look on his face. He kept asking me if I was all right, and did I have any pains of any kind, and I said I was fine, but he said I'm gonna have a doctor check you out. I want to be sure you're okay, so he made an appointment with Doctor Levine who gave me a complete physical, and then he went into his office with my father leaving me to have a private consultation, leaving me alone in the examining room. I was starting to get worried. Was there something really wrong with me? Was I going to die?

I was in such a panic, that I started to cry a little. I needed to know what was going on, so I sneaked outside of the door and put my ear to it, and I could hear what they were saying.

MY FATHER: I'm so worried about Sam.

DR. LEVINE: There's nothing to worry about. He's in perfect health.

That was a relief. I hope they couldn't hear my audible sigh through the door.

MY FATHER: But what about that?

DR. LEVINE: Nothing to worry about. Maybe he's just a late bloomer. A little slow to develop.

What the hell were they talking about?

MY FATHER: Do you think that there are shots he could take?

DR. LEVINE: I don't think they'd do any good. The shots don't work for that. They might just get him all riled up and make him conscious of the situation. Just let him alone.

MY FATHER: I'm worried about him getting teased and bullied at school.

DR. LEVINE: There is that possibility. Yes. Young boys can be very cruel.

MY FATHER: If you thought that he had a slipped disk or something, and wrote a note forbidding him to take gym?

DR. LEVINE: Yes. I could do that. Fine. That's a very good idea.

Why shouldn't I take gym? I liked gym. I liked playing basketball and all that stuff. I hadn't been taking gym up until now, but I was supposed to start next semester, and now I wouldn't be starting. It wasn't fair. And Dr. Levine had said I was in perfect health. And what was this slow to develop stuff? I was just as big and just as strong as most of the other guys in my class.

I heard chairs moving behind the closed door, so I quickly ran back to the examination room and sat on the examining table, where they had left me.

They came into the examination room and Dr. Levine told me I could get dressed.

"Am I okay?" I asked Doctor Levine.

"You're fine. Just fine. You might have a minor back problem, and I don't want you to strain it, so I've given your father a note that you are not to take gym."

"But I want to take gym," I told him. "And my back feels just fine."

"Come on, Sam. We only want what's best for you and the doctor doesn't want you to take gym. He wants you to come home right after school every day and rest and study," said my father.

They were not going to tell me what this was all about. It was hopeless. What could I do? I got excused from gym, and I came home and studied after school every day. I couldn't wait till I got to college and could participate in athletics. I would be eighteen and living in a dorm, and away from parental consent. I would sign up for basketball.

I applied to colleges clear across the country from Seacrest. Far away from my father and Dr. Levine. I was accepted at two schools and I chose Fairmountain U. We celebrated my eighteenth birthday in July, but I couldn't wait until September when I would matriculate as a freshman. I had applied for a room in the Freshman dorms, and I would be rooming with some other boy in Walker 307. Walker Hall was the men's freshman dormitory. I would be on my own for the first time in my life. Free and independent, and able to take gym.

Finally the summer was over and I was on my way to the University. Once the plane had landed, I took a bus from the airport to the town of Fairmountain. Then I took a taxi to the University where I went directly to the Student Union to register. There they gave me the key to my room, and very good directions on how to get to Walker Hall. I had sent a large trunk containing all my clothes on ahead, so it would already be in my room, they told me. So, carrying just the small suitcase which had accompanied me on my trip, containing my toothbrush, my hairbrush and other emergency items, I left the Student Union building and walked toward Walker Hall.

There were several gothic buildings at the foot of the hill, and I didn't know which one was Walker Hall, but I just asked some of the other students whom I encountered, and they pointed me in the right direction and into the right doorway. I climbed the narrow winding staircase up to the third floor and found my way to room 307. I took out my key and turned it in the lock. The door swung open. There was a young man lying on one of the beds already. My roommate. He had gotten here before me.

"Hi," he said. "I'm Kevin Parker. I guess we're roommates," he said, getting up to shake my hand.

"Hi. Sam Lawrence," I told him.

He was a really nice guy. Very friendly and very good looking. Very clean-cut. Taller and broader than I. And he had a thick head of blonde hair. My hair was dark.

He was going to be majoring in Mechanical Engineering, he told me, and I told him that I was going to be majoring in Philosophy. He asked me what sports did I play, and I told him nothing yet, because the doctor said I had a bad back and wouldn't let me take gym, but I was planning to go all out for sports now that I was on my own.

"Well, don't hurt yourself," he warned me.

"I won't," I promised. "If it starts to hurt, I'll just cool it. That's all. But I feel just fine."

He started telling me about this girl back in his hometown of Eldridge, in one of the corn-growing states, Linda Luckabee, that he fucked a lot. He told me he had fucked a lot of girls back in his hometown, because there wasn't a lot else to do in Eldridge and also he loved fucking, but that Linda Luckabee was special; but that even though he thought he really loved Linda Luckabee, he planned to fuck a lot of the girls at Fairmountain. That really sounded exciting. I felt a little tingle in my own loins, as he was describing in minute detail some of his most memorable exploits.

"What about you?" he asked me.

"There's this one girl I'm really crazy about. Vivian Griffin."

"Did you fuck her?" he asked me.

"No," I admitted. My parents hadn't really wanted me to date, and I didn't know why, but they had kept me at home all the time. I had asked Vivian Griffin to the Senior Prom, but she told me she already had a date with Elmer Hatcher, so I was fucked. I didn't even bother to go to the prom. But now that I was away from my parents and at Fairmountain, I planned to do a lot of dating and a lot of fucking and make up for lost time.

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written by kickyn