A Caring Heart 3

My shoulders slumped as I waited for the catch to this newly regained acceptance. I knew that there had to be something behind Carl's sudden change of heart and I waited, straight faced for him to tell me what he wanted.

Carl leaned forward against the table, toward me, half whispering, "We stole the video camera from the library." Carl quickly looked around to be sure that no one had heard.

My perplexed stare at the older boy across the table, made him lean over more as he continued. "We want to take a video of the ghost in the hallway."

Blood surged through my body as my body contemplated the flight or fight response at having to say those words in the dark hallway again. I felt my arms hug in closer to my body as my mind tried to understand whether Carl was actually saying what he was saying.

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"Just listen!" Carl said, in an eager pitch across the table. "You're the only one that it has ever worked with." He watched my horrified face as I listened and did his best to make it sound like what he was asking was simple. "All we need is a few seconds of video and we'll be famous."

My head began to shake in disapproval and it felt like someone else was controlling me as I started to get out of my chair.

"Wait!" Carl pleaded. "Just hear me out and if you don't want to do it then you don't have to."

I sat back down in my chair, more out of exhaustion than a will to listen. Although Carl and the other boys were so close, they seemed far away, or on a movie screen. Nothing felt real while my body simply wanted to escape this situation.

"Think of it, Artie!" Carl continued, "We would have all sorts of money and we wouldn't have to worry about one of us being taken off to live with people we don't know." His eyes stared into me and begged me quietly. "We could have all the money we need and stay together as a big family forever."

"Yeah." I heard Toby add, "You already did it once and nothing bad happened." Toby was the second oldest boy in the building and he was always riding Carl's coat tails. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I tried to breath deep to calm myself. I know that I was looking at every boy at the table like they were crazy. The whole idea of being rich sounded great but it also sounded too good to be true. I couldn't help but understand their urgency as I caught Stevie's restless figure in the corner of my eye. If we really could all stay together, it would take away all of my fears of being separated from Stevie forever. It hurt to think of my little surrogate brother all alone in some strange house that I couldn't find. Carl's plan was far out, terrifying and ridiculous but I wondered if the plan could help matters on a short term level.

Once again, I was forcing myself to say words that I didn't want to speak. My mouth was suddenly dry and I took a sip of water from the glass in front of me. When I set the glass down, I interrupted Toby as he continued to try to encourage me.

"I'll do it." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

The table went silent again and each boy exchanged a glance with another, finally looking to Carl. I saw a smile grow on Carl's face that was only half comforting.

"But you have to promise to be nice to Stevie from now on." I watched the grin fade from Carl's face and saw him hold a fake smile.

"You have to include Stevie in everything from now on." I added. "If you agree to that, then I'll do it."

I saw Carl's brown eyes glance at Toby, then back to me. He took a deep breath and then shrugged, saying, "Okay. Agreed."

I breathed a bit easier, knowing that the road ahead would be simpler for Stevie. I really hoped that nothing bad would come from another encounter with the orphanage ghost and if that was the case, then the arrangement would be worth it.

When dinner was over and we walked back to the bunk house, the other boys in Carl's group were genuine with their accepting me back. I got all sorts of pats on the shoulder and they were really including me in on the conversations about everything.

As the boys broke up into their usual evening clicks, I sat with Carl's group around his bed. It made things easier that I could smile around my house mates for real again, especially knowing what I would have to do later that night.

No one objected when I waved Stevie to come over and join us in our discussions. Stevie was hesitant at first, but when he sat down and saw that he was really welcomed, he was in awe of the older boys.

There was such an excitement in the air from the small group and I think Stevie was starting to understand what would happen later on that night. Every time I felt my heart pounding in my chest from fear, I would pat a hand on Stevie's back, telling myself that it was worth much more than a few words in a hallway.

The subject of the gathering turned to sex, as it always did. I caught Stevie giving me asking glances, wondering if he should go to his bunk for the 'grown-up' subject. I answered Stevie by hugging him close to me on the bed. My little buddy didn't take his eyes off of me for a while, and I hoped that he was staring at me out of gratitude.

Most of the talk about balls and dildos went right over Stevie's little head, but he seemed to pick up on other things. When some one told a sex joke, Stevie laughed along with us like he knew what was funny. Nothing would wipe the smile off of Stevie's face and I felt bravery build inside of me. This wasn't just worth it, it was a steal to see him smile so much.

As the night wore on, the discussions were more serious, talking about what kind of ghost could be haunting our school. Eric suggested that it might be a demon and David said that it was probably an evil mermaid that wasn't all the way dead. Both of the other boy's ideas were absurd, but as the darkness grew, so did the creepy feeling. I felt Stevie latch onto my arm while looking around the room with worried eyes. I pulled Stevie closer against me letting him know that I was there to protect him.

The other boys on our floor were moving back and forth between the rooms and the wash rooms, cleaning up for bed. When Mr. Menard called 'Lights Out' down the hall, it was time for our plan to go into action.

It became evident to every boy on the floor that we were going to try and capture the ghost activity on video. Most of the younger boys were huddled into the back of their rooms, refusing to participate out of pure fear of the ghost. Some of the older boys that were around my age came forward to peek out of their doorways to watch.

I stood in front of Stevie, cupping his little face in my hands. He was crying and I was trying my best to comfort him and let him know how quick it would be done and over so that we could go to sleep. Nothing that I said could comfort the little guy and I finally had to tell him that he could wait here in the room with his eyes covered until I got back. I left every lamp on in the room since it seemed to comfort Stevie more.

I waited for Toby to set the toy car down in the middle of the hallway and made sure that David had the camera at a good angle. My heart was pounding again and I was sure that everyone could see my chest thumping. My legs were weak and I was trying to comfort myself by thinking of the same things that I had just told Stevie. No matter how much I moved my own spit in my mouth, it felt too dry. My hands were shaking again and I paused, letting myself get a few deep breaths before I started down the hall.

I heard movement in the doorway behind me and was alarmed to see Carl holding Stevie in a full-nelson.

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