A Caring Heart 2

The next day, at lunch time I tried to distance myself from the uncomfortable glances from my house brothers for a change. The temperature was nice out and it felt like a great time to go for a walk in the woods. I felt a smile on my face as I watched Stevie skip along beside me and acted like he was hiding from some unseen enemy in battle. The bright day light and warmer than usual weather made it much easier to deal with the fact that there was a real ghost out there.

The brightness of the day also made me consider confronting my house brothers about why they were treating me so bad when none of it was under my control. I knew that the only person that I needed to confront would be the leader of all the bullying that went on, and that would be Carl. Although there were only a few years difference between myself and Carl, he seemed like a big beast compared to myself. But we had all seen Carl in more revealing circumstances that anyone wanted to remember. We had all felt strange when we saw Carl cry when he was scolded by Mrs. Menard for accidentally walking only two steps into her garden. It was the moment where we all understood that the oldest orphan wasn't the toughest person on the planet.

I sat in the thick grass and looked up at the bright blue sky that was spotted by the vibrancy of cotton clouds. Stevie and I were just inside one of the grassy areas that was corralled by an elaborate design of hedges. Stevie jumped around and played while I laid back and kept my eyes up, at the sky.

I could hear the footfalls of Sven, the groundskeeper as he clipped his way along the hedges. He sang a tune that I always assumed was a melody from the older days of the town. I had heard Mr. Menard and one of the other teachers singing the same tune and it always bugged me. It's not like what they were singing was awful, in fact I liked it and would like it even more if it sounded like a whole song. The person singing the tune would begin and would get to a good part and then he would stop singing abruptly. It was like having the radio turned off in the middle of your favorite song. Every one of the adults who sang the tune through out their day, stopped in the same exact place and I thought about asking if there was more to the song, but it was never important enough to take to the to find out.

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As I lay there on the grass, I sang along silently with Sven as he whistled the familiar tune. I heard Sven's humming become a bit louder just before stopping at the same spot as always. This is when I heard another voice coming from the same direction and distance as Sven. It was another boy's voice that picked up singing the rest of the tune. I couldn't see Sven or the boy, but I sat up as I delighted in hearing the unfamiliar finish to a familiar melody. I stood up and walked along the hedge where the boy and Sven were just on the other side of. I tried to peek through the hedges at the boy who was singing, but I couldn't see anything through the tall squared hedge.

I followed the voice and footsteps to where I knew the wall-like bush would end. I immediately saw Sven's fat arms raised and ready to clip at the bush again. He gasped when he saw me and then showed me a half smile through his handle bar mustache. I walked past the groundskeeper's round figure to peek down the other side of the hedge at the boy. I was surprised to see that there was no one else there, only Sven.

"Where did he go?" I asked, looking at the wide empty space.

Sven's bushy eyebrows raised as he looked around, asking, "Who?"

I immediately took a step back and searched the grounds keeper's eyes for truth. My eyes studied the space around us and I suddenly felt like I was being put-on and set up for a joke. I didn't say another word, but turned around to walk back toward the main cluster of houses at the orphanage. Steve stayed at my side asking if we could stay out longer. Of course Stevie was free to do what he wanted but lately I was the one who supplied the answers. I didn't answer little Stevie, and I ignored some of the other boys as they watched me enter the play yard. I was walking a little stiff legged and quickly toward one particular group of boys.

"Carl!" I said, meaning to sound louder than it actually came out. I felt my pulse racing and my the blood rushing to my face. I was scared and becoming more scared with every step I took. When I came to a stop, only feet from Carl's surprised face, I stared at him trying to appear angry.

"What?" Carl barked, standing taller than me.

"I did what you said!" I breathed. What I was saying was supposed to come out thick with anger, but instead, the words came out with a shaky breath. I saw no reaction from Carl other than to glance sideways at the boys around him.

"You told me to say those words," I continued, "And I did it." I stared deep into his eyes, wanting to look away but refusing to do so.

"Yeah." Carl said, taking a step closer to me, "You did." The look in Carl's eyes changed from overpowering to soft.

I flinched away as Carl's right hand went up to land on my shoulder. He jolted at my response but placed his hand on my shoulder anyway.

"Sorry man." Carl said, lightly squeezing his hand on me. "Come sit with us."

My jaw loosened a bit as I felt the comforting pats of hands on my back. It seemed that I was welcomed back into the group. This feeling of sudden and unexpected camaraderie seeped into me and even though I remained cautious, it felt wonderful.

Carl walked me over to the bench in the play lawn where he had been sitting when I approached. I watched every boy that surrounded me, hoping that this wasn't the beginning of some cruel joke. I sat down next to Carl, who had never been so nice to me before. The older boy's reassuring hand felt great and comforting on me and I hoped deep inside that it was real.

About six feet away, I caught Stevie's eyes watching the group around me with caution. I knew that he was unsure of whether he was allowed to join the group since he had always been kept separate before. Stevie didn't walk away, but kept a watchful distance like he had always done before the hallway incident.

I watched the other boys around me with care and wondered why they weren't talking about the incident in the hallway. If I was back into the group, you would think that they would have questions for me about what my experience was like. I wondered if the situation was simply too awkward to talk about since everyone seemed to have been freaked out and because I had pissed myself. I watched every one of them looking for a telling answer in their facial expressions, but I found nothing.

Supper time arrived and I found myself sitting at the same round table in the dining hall that I was used to. I was a welcomed brother in the gathering of boys who still talked to each other but not to me. I smiled at another table where Stevie sat and made shapes in his mashed potatoes while he waited for supper to end. There were five of us at the table and it intrigued me that the two quietest people were myself and Carl, who sat staring at the fork that he held in his hand.

I watched Carl, stabbing his fork into his pork chop and I wondered what was going on. Carl suddenly dropped his fork onto the plate and that got the attention of the other boys close by. The hum in the dining hall was still somewhat loud from the other tables but our table was still and silent as we waited for Carl to speak.

"Artie? We need your help." Carl said across the table.

I looked at every boy at the table and saw that none of them were confused by the oldest boy's words. They all just sat in there seats and listened while Carl said what they had obviously talked about before.

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