There was nothing to be done. I curled up next to him and fell asleep. We both slept soundly. When I awoke, he had left me alone, but he had also left me to sleep well past sunrise. For that, at least, I thanked him.
My studies progressed another year. That sounds like a long jump, perhaps, but nothing much happened in between. After that evening neither Ryu nor I mentioned the incident to one another. Ryu didn't keep his feelings quite so trapped within, and I saw the blackness more clearly and more often, but he also seemed to accept it far better.
Instead, I concentrated on my studies, spending six hours every morning studying magic until my brain hurt and then working the afternoons away either in the smithy or the gymnasium. I began researching my own spell base. Do you know what a spell base is, Aimee'? No?
A spell base is a basic spell idea from which one may weave variants dependent upon one's knowledge and talent. There is a classic spell base called, simply, "Pain." Alone, it does little; causes an itch. A little additional skill, and it can cause great discomfort. With the knowledge base that comes from being a full mage, one can use it to kill with some effort, although it is an uncomfortable way to die and there are more efficient ways to kill someone magically, like "Sleep" and a slitting of throats.
You Fuck My Face in the Middle of the Night
I was surprised to find that nobody had ever thought to create a base for "Pleasure." Bases are very simple to use, but hard to construct. I was determined to figure out the base for pleasure. I took notes obsessively. And, to be honest, when it was discovered among the man-shaped males of the Megassi what I was, a few were willing to help my experiments.
The other major thrust of my research was to be able to construct a method for visualizing that which shapes a being. I reasoned, and found confirmation, that all things that live grow into their shape by some unseen mechanism. I was determined to find a tool for visualizing that mechanism.
I found it. Not unsurprisingly, someone else had discovered it first for the creation of golems of flesh, although the technique as I read it was very crude. I refined it.
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That is an understatement. When I found it I completely dropped everything else. Only Desa's threats kept me in the gymnasium and the smithy. Males who knew my pleasures sent me letters that I left unopened. I burned for nearly four months, and when I was ready, Desa watched as I cast the spell for the first time. On myself.
Oh, we are such complex creatures, Aimee'! Even the keys with which we are made go on forever and are indescribable but in the spinning bands of blue, red, green, and gold that really do describe what we are. Or at least, what our shape would be. I spent so long examining what I was, realizing what I could be with this change or that, that when I was done the sun had set and my body had gone into such complete revolt over the indignity of ritual penetration combined with prolonged neglect. I spent the rest of the night on the garderobe, Desa standing outside and grilling me about my results until dawn.
My research accelerated after that. I discovered I was forging a new kind of magic, a predictive magic that was based on mechanical processes, not temporal ones. The fundamental elements were alchemical, of course, but ultimately it became a purely spiritual engine that allowed me to make a single change, and then change after change after change until I got what I wanted.
It was something of a shock when I realized, suddenly, that I had gotten away from the erotic sciences. I had been too busy taking apart the body to appreciate it. Have you ever been hit on the chin, Aimee'? I swear to you, that is how it felt. I suddenly spent an entire day addressing old friends, diving into a sort of blind, erotic haze, unable to think about work because I could think of nothing else but the males I had neglected.
I took control of myself the next day. I wrote down my thoughts on the bodily experimentation as much as I could, then turned my attention back to Pleasure. I think that's my one greatest failure, that I can never pay attention to one project at a time. I constantly change back and forth.
I received permission from Desa to take two weeks off from the smithy, but not exercise. I spent those two weeks catching up with every male I knew who was amenable to my caresses, and in two weeks I had finished a unified base for spells of Pleasure.
I documented my spell base comprehensively and mailed it to here, to Barraminum and the College of Mages. Over a year would pass before I heard the reply.
As I crawled into my bed one night, however, a voice from the edge of the ring interrupted my desire to sleep. "Darynn?"
"Ryu? Hi."
"Hi yourself. You have been gone a long time."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I just completed a fully functional spell base, and I decided to turn it into the College of Mages for acceptance."
"That's quite an achievement." He was quiet for a moment, then said, "Darynn, why is it you have never asked me to help you test those spells?"
"I... " I was caught. I had wanted to practice with him, but knowing him as I did I had never felt comfortable approaching him. I wondered if I could bluff my way through this encounter. "Desa said I wasn't to practice on someone without his permission."
"That was the animal alchemy, Darynn. His warnings were not related to the base you created."
"But... you are my host, Ryu. What if I did use them on you? What obligations would we have? What about addiction..."
"Is that your concern? That I might become addicted to the d them on me with regularity, and then only if they surpassed the pleasures you could inflict on me with your hands. Which is something you've never tried anyway."
Almost two years had passed since I had made my promise to Desa that I would seduce and love Ryuchitoran. I wanted to, Aimee', truly I did. For some reason I felt reluctance, an inertia to begin. I did not know what I was getting into. "Ryu..."
"You said once you could love me, but you've never said anything to me about it since."
The truth welled up out of me then, although I managed to squelch it almost into silence. Sometimes I curse that Dragons have such good ears. Sometimes I bless it. "You never gave me an answer."
"What?" he asked, not hearing.
"I said you never gave me an answer."
"I didn't know there was a question."
"Ryu..." I sighed. "If we were to... love... would you understand when I returned to the world of men?"
"Yes." His word was as simple as that, and as convincing. I reached out my hand and beckoned him to come to me.
The bed had been made for his changeling days, and as he flopped into it, it creaked painfully but did not crack, and although his tail draped over the side he easily fit all the rest of him beside me. His large head lay down next to mine on the pillows. "I don't know what to do from here," he said.
"I remember touching," I replied. I reached out and stroked his broad chest, feeling the scales sliding under my fingertips, feeling the caress of his skin. Dragons have hearts, despite the legends, and I could hear his beating. His breath, hot and musky, poured over me as he watched my hands relearn the feel of his body.
People don't believe me when I say that Dragons, if they have any relation to other animals, are more like the centaurids than humanoids. It must be so because Dragons have six limbs. They have standing legs, flying wings, and holding arms, although in full Dracoform these arms end in three-fingered hands that require close care to keep the nails short enough for them to handle anything.
My dreams and fantasies roiled in my head and I wondered how many of them I could fulfill in one night. "If I touch you here with my finger," I said, caressing the underside of his chin and neck, "and then do it again with my lips, do you feel anything different?"
"Yes," he gasped. "Your lips are strange... warmer, softer. They're wet. I feel that."
"I do too." As we lay side-by-side, I realized that describing him as eight feet tall is a misdirection. He is only two feet taller than I, but all of that body is from his collar to his groin. We were grossly disproportionate. Yet I was determined to love him, to really take him for my own, for this night.
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