No Bastard Calls Me

I was in Cologne a weekend ago, with my lover Leo. He was working in the studio part of the time, but we were able to spend a few evenings out at clubs like "Zipps" and "Hands-". We had the most amazing time a few years ago, in Cologne for Carnival (February), wandering around between the bars late, late in the frosty evening. Coming back in early spring, I recalled how wonderful a small city it really was for gay men. At Carnival, we went as Leather Jesters - with pointed leather hats & bells, vests, special jester armbands, and so forth.

Apparently, we looked quite fierce because people tended to drift away rather than towards us (later confirmed by friends). When everyone was relaxed at 3am or so, we began to have a very fun time with all. You could find us dancing on the bar, or huge groups of men pissing in the bathroom from the litres of beer, or lots of sweaty wet groping while dancing to oom-pah-pah music.

My favourite that evening was "Kein Schwein ruft mich an" (No Pig Calls Me Up) sung in a high tenor Cole Porter 20's style. Our pig eventually called up, when we found ourselves sidling up to an absolutely enormous Cologne man, at least 6'5", and 250lbs. He was very flushed, red and sweaty, a bit drunk (as I'm sure we were), and somehow we all got arm-in-arm to the oom-pah-pah, grabbing-ass, and hands fondling cocks in pockets. Though he was drunk, he still got a ranging hardon as we licked and kissed him, sticking tongues as far in mouths as possible, fingers, everything.

I remember my hand in one pocket (under his big hairy belly), holding on to what could only be one ball, and Leo on the other side pulling what looked like a pointed snake out of the other side. Lederhosen have a flap on the front, and either side of the flap makes pockets with no lining, so you can reach right in and go for the gold. Our pig had his hands on both of our necks, and eventually down our shirts and pants, and somehow we ended up home together for the evening, singing along the way. I speak no German, and he spoke no English, but it didn't seem to matter at all when we fell into bed at a friend's apartment.

What do pigs like best? Eating, and this one, when in side, got our pants off in record time, and stuffed as much cock in his mouth as possible. We obliged, of course, and sloppily kissed as we moved across the room. Our cocks were immediately swallowed alive by this German man-mountain. Through the apartment windows you could still see the Carnival going strong in the Alt-Markt, and while our pig started in on our sweaty assholes, we had a beautiful view. Well, I couldn't resist either, so getting his smelly Lederhosen off, presented with an enormous piece of uncut German Sausage, I decided to try a bit. It was very well salted with his sweat, and holding up his big belly I could get only about half in my mouth. When it slid along the roof of my mouth, and hit the back of my throat, I could feel his hips buck from the tight sensation, and suddenly we all three seemed to collapse on the floor, in a crazed triple-69, every man with more than a mouthful of bear-cock.

Turned around, I could get much more of his 9" bratwurst in my mouth, and into my throat which expanded willingly for the deep plunge. He grabbed my head, and then got me in a leglock I thought would kill me, then let go after a second, as I struggled to get free from those enormous wet thighs. Leo was going to town on my own cock, 8" stabbing freely up for any hot mouth to swallow, while our pig was grunting with the effort of getting Leo's ten-inch-monster in his throat. Our pig got up on his knees a bit, my head now buried under his belly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leo spray a bottle of lube on his ass as he pushed in a female condom. There's more than one way to feed a pig. Sudden stillness. I knew Leo was starting to fuck him, and he stopped, as I extricated myself to watch.

I sat on his back, and holding his asscheeks, pulled them apart to expose the twitching asshole to the maximum, while Leo lay the head on the wet plastic cover. He pushed just the dixie-cup-sized head into the hole, and I felt the pig tense up. I pulled his hairy cheeks apart as hard as possible, slapping them to make sure he understood what to do, then Leo slid more of his head, followed by his vein-ridged shaft. I couldn't resist helping. I almost came from excitement as I tried to wrap my hand around the shaft and push it into the twitching pig-bear asshole, then pulling it out, and pushing it in like a strange human dildo, while Leo passed the poppers. I got up, and fed some to the pig, who could at that point whine and reach back to spread his own cheeks, while Leo rode his ass like a horse, horsedicks reversed here. I was so excited that my cock was dripping honey streams of precum.

I got back under the pigbear to suck on his fat root, which he seemed to be rubbing painfully against the carpet. It was hard for me to breathe with his huge belly on me, but I got his cock in my mouth, then throat. I was revelling in the sensation of Leo's fucking thrusting his cock into my mouth, as though Leo was actually fucking my mouth with his own lunges. Leo fucked very subtly for someone who had so much to drink that Carnival that evening, but eventually the lunges got harder and nastier. I thought he must be really bruising his goose-egg balls against the hairy ass from the impact. I wanted a change suddenly, so I got out again, and pulled the bear-pig up. His face was a mask of ecstasy, bright red from all the poppers, fucking, and beer.

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Pinching his nipples a bit to get his attention, Leo's hands crept around and started really deep-dish longdick assfucking to which our pig opened his mouth and yelled out loud, grimacing from the pain of horsedick in his ass. His own cock was standing out like a huge purple sausage, dripping with rivers of precum, and I couldn't resist. Lubing it up, and prepping my ass with another condom, I knelt down in front of him, then backed onto his huge cock. I took it all in one lunge, my own asshole well trained by Leo's cock, and again and again, ramming his fat German prick as deeply into my ass as possible. I kept on until I was almost out of my mind with the electric sensation.

He absolutely didn't know where he was, and still holding his ass, Leo still fucking away, even harder, we all collapsed again on the floor. I felt over 300lbs of man-bear on top of me, squeezing and fucking my ass. It was being drilled in a uncontrolled, syncopated rhythm which connected straight from my prostate into my spine. I felt rivers of sticky sweat and his hot mouth biting my neck, while we all started rolling over and over, in a mass of quivering jerking fuckmeat. A churchbell rang outside, just at the moment when I started cumming a fountain of white-hot spunk. I hadn't even touched myself, I was just bouncing up and down on the bearpig-daddydick duo under me. My spraying meat covered his belly and hairy chest with ropy steaming strands, and I crammed as much my ass as I could take until enough was enough. I had to get off. With both hands I stroked his own huge meat, squeezing and twisting his head fingers inside the foreskin until he screamed with sensation.

He shot a bolt of cum straight up to the ceiling. I could watch his balls pulse with the intensity of each shot, accentuated by a ram to the root of Leo's rod. Leo squeezed his belly in almost a Heimlich, as though he was squeezing the buckets of cum straight out of his body with his cock and hug. I'm sure the neighbours were very upset by the yelling and squealing next as he shook in almost a seizure of sex down on the cock. His cum sprayed all over while I jacked him off. Then, finally, he could roll away. We both concentrated on Leo. His monstrous cock was fully loaded, balls tight up to his groin and visibly squirming in their hairy sac.

We pinched and licked his nipples while he took both our heads in the crooks of his arm, squeezing us uncomfortably tight. I jacked him off, harder and harder, then when I felt the moment had cum let go. Then his cock stood straight out like a third arm from his hairy crotch, and first starting in small dribbles, then bigger spurts, then finally huge spunky waves he shot out his own thick, white cum. His cock bounced up and down with each shot, and he just couldn't hold back the yells of white-hot delight. I heard the churchbell again, but it was noon, and the parades had started below. Our bearpig was asleep, flat on his back, arms out, big hairy chest, big hairy belly, cock with a piss-hardon standing straight up, and snoring like a steamtrain. Leo & I were arm-in-arm on the floor, and crept away, getting up to scrape off some of the dried cum and see about food before going out for the parade. What a night.

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