Jock In The Van

Colt is the boy I met on my last trip to a favorite B&B in Southern Ohio. The high school is right next to the B&B and I had gone over to watch football drills and do some writing. I lost the original write-up of that encounter but it went something like this.

After practice when the boys were heading back to the locker room one of the boys sort of swerved over to me and spoke, asked what I was writing, was I a reporter, was it a sports story, and was I a writer by profession.

No, I explained that I owned and operated a warehouse shipping business; I wrote as a hobby. He thought that was neat. I told him I was roughing out a sports story. He was immediately interested and asked if it would be possible to read it.

No, I didn't do that... let people preview my stories... besides, what I had written so far probably would bear little resemblance to the finished story. A little later in the short conversation I told him about a story I had written at the very same B&B, about a high school wrestler; the setting was the town, the high school and the B&B.

I had a good, warm feeling about this kid and I wanted to pique his curiosity, without revealing the true content of the story. He got real excited about that and wanted to know where he could find it to read, and he wanted to tell all his teammates about it so they could read it too. I realized that he was of the impression that I had stories published. I told him my stories were published on certain websites but I was evasive about that. And I told him I didn't think it was the kind of story he would want to read and he certainly couldn't recommend it to his teammates.

That only piqued his interest more... which I think was exactly what I wanted to do. Okay, I was teasing him. He had to get back in the locker room but before he rushed off he asked if he could email me and at least learn more about my stories. I gave him my email address. He started to give me his but I told him I would have it when he emailed me. I wanted to see if he really would.

He did and Colt and I hit it off right from the start through our emails. He asked repeatedly for my wrestler's story. After several emails I finally decided to send him High School Wrestler, after warning him that it had gay connotations, and after extracting a promise that he would not show it to anyone else. He didn't have any problem with the gay thing, he said, and said he wouldn't show it to anyone else or even tell them about it without my permission. And he would delete if I wanted him to. I told him that wasn't necessary as long as it was safely kept. So I sent him the story then I waited.

When his next email popped up I was almost afraid to open it. I didn't know what to expect but I was excited to read whatever he had to say. Would he like it? Would he be offended? Angry? Was he a homophobe? I was happily surprised when I read his first words, "The story was great!" Very powerful words, I thought, considering. He wanted to know if I had any more "sports stories" I could send to him. I thought it interesting that he didn't refer to GAY sports stories. He promised he had not shown High School Wrestler to anyone else and hadn't even told anyone about it. And he asked me if I wanted him to delete it. I told him no, that wasn't necessary.

I sent him The Wrestling Team. He said he was blown away by it, and more so when I explained that the setting for the story was a real gay bathhouse that I went to. I sent several more stories after that at his request; County Fair and Christmas On Campus, as I recall, and Sex On The School Bus which, I explained, had also written at the B&B and the setting was in one of the many school buses parked at his school. That was exciting for him too.

I never told him about any of the sites where my stories were posted. Partly because I wanted to maintain this more personal contact with the boy. He was deeply engrossed in my stories and said there was something or someone in each story that he identified with. He was curious whether they were based on true experiences. I gave him my standard answer to that question; there is something of me in everything I write. Sometimes a LOT of me.

He soon began to stray away from my stories in his emails and talk about other things. It became evident that he was starting to trust me and he began to confide in me about little things that he hadn't told anyone else. We exchanged a lot of emails, getting pretty intimate pretty quick, which is a common trend with younger readers, as they realize they have come in touch with someone... a non-judgmental stranger... that they can talk to about their most private thoughts and feelings.

He said that one great thing about my stories was that little things kept cropping up that he connected to; things that he never explored but instead buried them. He confided that he was as young as five or six when felt an attraction to older boys and men and the male characters (over the females) in comic books and movies but he never attached "gay" to it; at that age he didn't know what gay was. It was more a thing of admiration, he said.

As he got older he said he began to wonder about that... and that he felt he was different from other boys. This is sort of funny, but the thing that triggered it was hearing other boys talk about Wonder Woman and what they would like to do to her, and what they were sure Super Man and Captain America were doing to her. Same with big-boobed Barbie, and what her boyfriend, Ken, must be doing to her... while his attraction was for the very muscular Captain America and the GI Joes; he named off three of his favorites.

Well into high school the male attraction got stronger and turned into more just than admiration of other boys' bodies. While other boys were wallowing in their fantasies (for some, realities) of pussy, he found himself fantasizing about doing stuff with other boys, especially his well-built, fellow jocks. He just wasn't sure what all that was, or how he could ever go about it to even find out.

Then he said he found this huge "opening" when we met and he felt he'd found somebody he could trust and talk to. At our last exchange he had not yet found a way or the courage to try anything with another boy though. I had warned him to be very cautious about that. One thing he had accomplished; he had attained a more confidence and a higher comfort level in who he was. He was facing himself and he had more or less decided that he was happy in his skin as a gay teenager. But he was alone and pretty frustrated, he said, in his solo activities of viewing porn and jacking off.

I asked, as I always do, how he knew he was gay and if he was certain; had he ever had a relationship with a girl? Yes, but only as friends. He admired a girl's beauty but he never thought about girls in a sexual way, and he had warded off his friends urging him to "get laid." When he thought about sex it was always with males. BTW I had also started sending him pictures from my collection which he enjoyed very much.

He was very excited when I told him I was coming to the B&B again. He wanted us to meet. I wanted us to meet. We set a time; early morning. The town was still deserted at that hour except for some occasional traffic coming through the main drag; people going to work early. But I didn't know where we could meet for what we had in mind. I wasn't going to rent a room at another motel or B&B. He said that was easy, he would be driving a van... even more perfect. He described his van and gave me his license number.

I showered the night before and next morning I flushed out, just in case. We hadn't discussed details of our meeting; only that we were going to have sex. We had already talked about sex so I knew what he wanted to experience; in a word, everything!

I left the B&B in the early morning dawn and set out walking to our meeting place. It was cold and damp; the streets were wet from the rain. But the town was even more quaintly beautiful with all the twinkle lights that they leave up all year round. The street lights are sparser on the side streets, unlike the main street, but I saw the dark colored van parked at the end of the street under some trees. I checked the license number; it was the right van. I went up and tapped on the window. He smiled big and motioned me to go around to the other side of the van. He had the door open for me and I slid it shut when I got in.

"Man, I'm so glad you could make it," he gushed happily.

"So am I, and this is perfect," I said of the van.

"You can probably tell, I'm a little nervous," he said.

"There's no need to be nervous," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "After all, we both know why we're here," I added with a chuckle.

"Well, yes, and we don't have a lot of time so do you want to get naked?" he asked eagerly.

"Sure." I liked this boy; he was going after what he wanted even though he didn't know for certain what that was.

So we started taking off our clothes. I can't ever know how or why fate brought us together that day at the football field. Similar things have happened so often in my life that I have come to believe that Fate is a reincarnated gay male or has special dispensational powers for us.

I should mention that Colt was 17, a junior and as you know, a football player, and I was most anxious to see his young jock body.

I asked him, "Is this still your first time?"

"Yes. I would have no idea how to approach any boy I know. I'm SO glad we met up."

I told him, "I wish this could be different, like in a nice hotel room, considering it's your first time."

"It doesn't matter. Everybody's first time has to be someplace. I just want there to be a first time."

We were on our knees. The only light was that of a street light close by shining in the driver side window but we were back out of sight.

I was a little slower than him, and he paused, still in his shorts, and helped pull my t-shirt off. He immediately spread his hands across my chest muscles and squeezed.

"Man, you sure haven't lost much," he said. I had told him about once being a bodybuilder. Then he groped the front of my shorts.

"Ohh, Shit! You told me you were pretty big, but this is way bigger than pretty big. Fuck!!" as he squeezed my cock through my shorts.

After a moment, bold as hell, he leaned down and began mouthing me through my shorts. Like I said, I was very impressed with the boy. Then, "Fuck, I gotta see this!" as he frantically took his own shorts off. Not to show himself, but just to get them out of the way. Then he hooked his thumbs in the waist of my shorts... "Is it okay?" he asked.

"Of course, they need to come off," I told him.

He tugged them down.

"Oh God! Look at that!" he gasped when he pulled them down and my cock swung out thick and rubbery.

I said something really dumb like, "Glad you like it."

"Shit, I can't believe it!" He was feeling it and pulling on it, making it even bigger. He was so excited and eager. I heard him swallow and he swiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Fuck, my mouth's watering," he said, laughing. Then he leaned in and took my cock in his mouth, still completely ignoring his own condition. But I wasn't ignoring it. The boy had a very impressive cock!

"Ohh, Godd, this is so big and good," he murmured as he sucked and slobbered on my cock like a hungry calf.

"I'm glad, but I really would like to have some of that stiff cock of yours," I said.

"Oh, fuck yeah, we should a sixty nine." It was like he had forgotten all about himself. We quickly got into position.

"I've only ever done this one other time," he said.

"Oh? You never told me about it. I thought this was your first time." I was taken aback; he'd said this would be his first time.

"It is, for this. The other was just jacking off one time. I'll tell you about it, I promise I'll write it up like you said I should do but I don't want to waste precious time with that now." He was so eager and hungry for cock.

I was stroking his sizeable cock, over seven inches, and drinking in the clean smell of shower and soap.

"When you say one other time, was it a one way street?" I asked.

"Yeah, he never did anything back."

Good, I loved getting hold of a virgin cock. I spent a moment teasing him, building him up for his first touch of a mouth on his cock. Like those other rare times with other boys, I wanted to make it something he would remember. I gently blew my warm breath over his balls then titillated them with the tip of my tongue. I licked up the underside of his cock, lashing my tongue under the head.

He moaned around my cock and reached down with his hand on my head. He didn't push me but he was anxious for me to take him. I teased the head some more, causing his cock to quiver, and blew warm air over it. When I finally did fold my lips down over the head of his cock I thought he was going to choke on mine.

He was young, hung, horny and eager to learn. I think being horny makes boys eager to learn. He liked me playing with his ass while we sixty-nined. He was on top and he pushed back on my hand and my fingers rubbing his asshole. After a few minutes he let my cock go and concentrated on my balls. Moments later I noticed how he was pulling them up out of the way so he could lick under them.

I set my feet wider apart and hunkered up to offer him better access, at the same time I released his cock and began tonguing his ass, to give him an example. He squealed and immediately buried his face in my ass. It was a wonderful rimming sixty nine.

It was time--for we hadn't much time--I asked him if he wanted to fuck me.

"Oh My God, Yes! You mean you'd let me?"

I had already reached for my pants to get lube and condoms. I handed them to him as he was raising up.

"I'm clean if you are," he said as he took the condoms.

"No chances. Put it on," I told him. "Don't ever take chances."

I was clean too, but I wanted to make my point.

He was almost giddy as he tore open the condom and put it on, while I lubed up my ass.

"This way?" he asked, as I was still on my back. I lifted my legs in response. "God, I can't believe a big guy like you is letting me do this."

"You've got no choice 'cause I'm bigger than you," I joked.

He positioned himself and aimed and pushed, almost all in one motion. His eyes widened as the head of his cock penetrated my hole. Mine might've widened a little too; he was pretty thick.

"Ohhh, shit! Ohh, fuck, man," he kept saying. "This feels so fuckin' good!" He was saying it all the way in. When he was in balls deep he gushed out a huge breath of air. "God, I can't believe anything could feel so good! And man, you took it all!"

"I didn't have a choice," I said.

He held in deep for a moment, getting used to the feeling then he drew back and started fucking me. And groaning some more about how great it felt.

He was a good fucker. I think boys are born with a natural talent to fuck, and given the chance they will follow their cocks to wherever it leads them. I let him position my legs where he wanted them and lay with my arms folded behind my head to lay back and enjoy the ride. I intended it to be a stance of submission, putting him in charge, and he took it.

He didn't last long, which didn't surprise me, but he gave me quite a ride, using slow and deep strokes to make like a jack hammer. After he'd tried a couple of times to hold off, I wrapped my legs loosely around his hips and told him, "Don't hold back, give it everything you've got, fuck my brains out."

He did. He let go and really plowed me. It was great. If he'd lasted a minute longer he would've fucked my load right out of me, but it was not to be. I couldn't be disappointed in his performance, though. With a little practice, which I was certain he would soon get, he was going to be an expert cocksman. He went into convulsions for a good minute or more, pumping his boy cum deep in my bowels before he collapsed on top of me. His hips kept moving involuntarily, rubbing my cock between our stomachs. I could've got off that way but he slowed and then stopped, his chest heaving against mine.

"My God!" he moaned.

"Yeah, me too," I said.

"Did I do okay? I didn't last long. But it was my first time, you know."

"You don't have to make excuses, you did great," I told him.

"Am I getting heavy?"

"No, you feel good."

"So do you. You ass feels awesome."

"Yea, it must, your cock is still hard in there."

"That happens a lot. Sometimes I have to jack off more than once before it goes down." He rose up and reached for my cock. "This one's what's important though, 'cause I still want you to fuck me."

"Whenever you're ready," I said.

"I'm ready. Fucking you got me so hot; I've never been so hot in my life," he said as he pulled his cock out.

I got another condom, a larger one. "One word of warning. You wanna do this, you've been anticipating it..."

"Have I ever!"

"Well, we don't have many chances, so once we get started there's no stopping, no turning back."

"I won't ask you to, I promise."

When I had the condom rolled down over my cock I waved it at him. "Last chance to change your mind."

"No way I'm changing my mind; I want this inside me all the way."

I put him on his back and brought his legs up and pushed them back over his head. "Hold your legs," I said then I dove for his ass. He didn't know it but he was ready in his head but not his body. I wasn't going to stop once I got started but I didn't want to hurt him unnecessarily. I wanted to make it the first time experience he fantasized about and one that he would remember.

I ate his fine young ass like I was hungry for it, because I was. For my part I could've skipped the fucking and gotten him off this way, but I would give him the fucking he wanted. His ass was a perfect teenage jock's ass... fine and round, firm and flawlessly smooth, except for the light growth of dark hair starting deep in the crack and spreading in a flurry around his tiny hole. This proof of his budding manhood was sexy as hell. I licked and tongued and fluttered my tongue and licked some more, till my tongue was tired. He loved it, and if I'd persisted I'm sure he would've been willing to skip the fucking too for my tongue. But if that happened he would regret it later, going home still a virgin.

He was relaxed and open for more; eager, if his asshole could be believed, the way it tightened and relaxed, the tiny aperture winking at me. I pushed some spit through his hole and used my fingers on him. Not one, but two at the same time. He winced but moaned with pleasure. I shoved my two fingers in as deep as I could and wriggled them around in all directions.

Another "Ohhh, Godd!"

His asshole tightened around my fingers. Fuck, he's going to be so tight, I thought. My fingers touched his prostate and set off a firestorm. He lifted his torso, doubling himself tighter in half, his eyes wide and his mouth open in a gasp that was never heard.

Finally, "Geezuss, Pete!"

I said, "I don't want to make you come but I wanna make you ready."

"I'm ready Pete. I've never been so ready for anything in my life. Fuck me Pete. I want your big cock in me. Please, fuck me."

"You don't have to beg, Colt. That' something you don't ever have to do." I twisted my wrist around a few times, gouging his insides, and he pulled himself double again.

"God, Pete, I can't stand this! I want you cock! Please, man, fuck me!"

I hunkered forward and positioned my cock against my hand and used my slick fingers as a chute to guide my cock through his hole as I pulled my fingers free. I think he didn't fully realize my cock had replaced my fingers till I brought both hands up and griped the back of his thighs.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Oh, Godd, Yess! Fuck, you're going in!"

"Yeah, but I'll take it slow," I told him.

It was a surprisingly easy entry, at least for me, and for him too, especially for being a virgin. His mouth was open and he was taking short, fast breaths as I pushed in but he never flinched or winced, or told me to stop or wait or anything. As I shoved the last inches in I leaned over him and kissed him. He was still sucking in air and we exchanged breath for a moment.

"How're you doing, stud," I asked as I nuzzled his neck.

"Man, Pete, I don't know where you put it all. Feels like it's in my lungs."

"You did great, Colt. Especially being your first time. Not many guys can take me like that.

"Maybe not many guys wanted it as much as I do."

"Can I fuck you now? Are you used to it," I asked.

"Ohh, yeah, Pete, you can fuck my brains out. Fuck me like I'm your slut. God, just having you ask me that makes me shiver."

"You're nobody's slut unless you want to be. You're my little stud, Colt, my hot little jock stud, and that's what makes you so hot and desirable."

I started fucking him slow and easy, because I wasn't sure he was used to my size. After several full strokes he was whimpering how good it was. He was ready.

"Ohh, fuck, Pete, I can't believe how good this feels!"

"Good as you expected?" I asked.

"Better. Way better. Feeling this good can't be imagined. You have to feel it to believe it."

I gave him a good fuck. I used all the hip moves I knew, gauging each one carefully to see which one got the best reaction from him then I used them on him harder. He liked it best when I twisted my hips around as I went in, cork-screwng my cock all the way in him. So I used a lot of variations on that one. He also liked it when I was all the way in him and rotated my hips; that caused my cock to lob around inside him and hit every nerve ending there was I think, and his prostate.

Especially his prostate. He said it felt like I was batting his love nut like a baseball. I loved doing that one till he begged me to stop, 'cause he said he couldn't stand it; I knew it played havoc with his prostate and neither of us wanted him to cum too soon. You just don't want pleasure like that to ever end.

"Listen, dude, I can fuck you for as long as you want, so you tell me when you wanta cum and I'll take you over the top."

"I'm almost afraid to, Pete."

"What, afraid to cum?"

"Yeah, I know it's gonna be even better than it's been so far, and I'm afraid I'm gonna crazy when it happens."

"So go crazy," I told him.

"Just don't let me make too much noise," he said.

"Don't worry about that. I'll swallow all your noise, so let it go, enjoy it to the fullest."

Suddenly he leaned up and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I held him tight. "Then I wanna cum, Pete. I want you to fuck me hard and make me cum; fuck my load out of me." His voice sounded shaky, emotional.

"Okay, Stud, let's do it." I nuzzled his neck. I wanted to have my mouth close to his when he started making all that noise so I could muffle it. I fucked him hard. Not brutal but I picked up the pace and the thrust and incorporated all the moves he liked into it.

When his squealing whimpers began to get louder, I locked my mouth over his and we rode it out with one long, hard, passionate kiss tongue-lashing. His muffled outcries reverberated in my throat. His asshole went crazy. But my greater strength and my cock prevailed. I came too, but mine was secondary to his climax. Mine didn't matter, except for how it might have made his all the better. I only wished I could've fucked him bareback so he could've felt my cum gushing deep inside him. I know he would've felt it, and it would've been fun to have it drain out of him.

His cum shooting out felt hotter than his body temperature. He held onto me tight and I wrapped both of my arms around him. When he was calmed down and trying to suck in air, I moved my mouth off of his.

"You okay, stud?"

"God, Pete, I can't believe anything could feel so good."

"Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?"

"Was it for you, too?"

"Colt, I'm a writer and I couldn't begin to describe how it was for me. It was awesome. It's gonna rank up there in the top ten fucks I ever had."

"That hard to believe, with all the experience you've had."

"Believe it, dude." Whether he did or not... whether I would believe it later, it was the truth for the moment.

"I'm really glad I met you, Pete."

"No more than I am," I said. I rose up a little and reached between us to feel the cum he'd shot all over himself. "We shouldn't let this go to waste," I said, and began licking it off his lower stomach. I was able to do it and still keep my cock buried in him.

"You really like it, don't you?"

"I love it. Nothing better than teenage cum," I said.

"Pete you are the greatest, the way you love young guys but you don't treat me like a kid."

"You're not a kid. You're a hot jock." I licked the still warm nectar, sucking the thick stuff into my mouth and pressing it against the roof of my mouth, it was like bursting taste buds. I told him how good he tasted.

"I want yours," he said.

I glanced up at him. "Okay, but it might not taste the same out of a condom."

"We'll see," he said.

I pulled out and carefully removed the condom and twisted off the end.

"Holy shit, Pete, is that all one load?"

I laughed. "I only came once," I assured him as I held the condom upside down over his mouth.

"Fuck, you're gonna drown me with all that cum."

"Ready?"

"Yes."

"Okay now, don't swallow it all," I said. I let loose of the open end and the cum dumped into his waiting mouth. He moaned with excitement and closed his mouth.

"Don't swallow it," I told him again. I saw more globs of his cum on his stomach and leaned down to suck it up. Then I leaned up over him to kiss him. He moaned and squealed with delight as we gave our cum to each other, our tongues lashing about in one another's mouth, swirling the stuff around. Then we both swallowed.

"FUCK, that was hot!" he gasped.

"You're hot," I told him.

It was getting late to be in the situation we were in; having sex in a van parked along a still dark street that would soon be light and the town would be coming alive. But we lay together for a short while basking in the aftermath, as I like to do, and talking.

"What're you going to do now, with this newfound experience?" I asked him.

"I don't know. Just keep it in my dreams while I jack off, I suppose. There's nobody else I could do this with."

"Oh, there is somebody out there, Colt. It's impossible that this is the only time you'll have sex like this. It could be the kid sitting next to you in class, or the guy at the next locker in gym class. Or even the older guy working at the gas station, or an out of towner like me.

"But how do I know?" he asked.

"Be on the alert; keep your eyes and ears open. Don't be afraid to make eye contact. You'll eventually make a connection, I promise."

"What if I make eye contact with the wrong guy?"

"There's always that chance, but I think it's pretty slim. If you happen to glance at a guy, right in his eyes and he looks away, then be cautious. You might look at him again just to see if he's looking at you again, but if he's not, then he's not interested. There's sex everywhere, Colt, all around you, just waiting to happen."

"I wanna believe that but it's so scary."

"Look at it this way. Teenage boys think about sex every eight to ten seconds. Older guys a little less often. In any case you are surrounded by guys thinking about sex pretty much all the time, just like you."

"But are they thinking about sex with me?"

I laughed. "It's enough that they're thinking about sex. Hell, boys your age will go anywhere their cocks take them." We laughed together at that then I got more serious. "Odds are good, some of them are thinking about sex with you, especially the younger ones because you're a jock, but they're just as scared as you are. They think they're alone in the world, just like you do, and you're probably intimidating to them. So be open and friendly with everyone. Older guys, if you make eye contact, it's easier to tell with them. If they hold your eye contact, like unflinching, there's probably something there. He'll probably even make the next move, or say something. Believe me, there are lots of older guys out there just dying to have sex with boys your age. But they're reluctant too, because of the age thing. They are more liable to take their cue from you."

"Thanks for telling me all of this stuff, Pete. I just have to find the courage to put it into action."

"Chances are just as good that you won't have to. Look at how it all worked out for us. It was a total fluke. I went over to the athletic field to ogle the jocks and write. I had no idea I would actually meet one of you. Then you came by and started talking to me, just being friendly. It could easily happen that way again." I reached for my clothes. It was time to part ways. I started getting dressed and he did the same. Suddenly I struck on something else.

"Listen, Colt, I don't know if you're Catholic but......"

"I am," he said.

"Well, I don't know if it's right for me to be telling you this, but there are two saints of the Church who were fierce warriors who died on the battlefield defending the faith and each other. This was back in the Middle Ages. They were also lovers. St. Sergius and St. Baachus. I told some boys in Canada about them and they did a novena to the two gay saints. They swear by their miracles, and they tell everybody about them."

"They pray for sex?"

"They pray for things to work out in that regard, yes."

"Man, that is awesome. Maybe I'll try it."

"Read up on them first. There are several sites; you can Google them and other gay saints. Then decide if it's right for you. I do not want to sway your religious beliefs in any way."

We were about dressed when he threw another question at me. "Do you think it's a sin to jack off, or worse, to do what we just did? Do you think being gay is a sin?"

"I don't like to advise on matters of religion and faith, I'm not a priest."

"You're not advising. I'm just asking."

"Okay, promise you won't take what I say as gospel. It's just something to think about," I said. I gave him my usual spiel about God creating gays same as straight people, and not just so he could toss them all into hell.

I gave him my explanation in a nutshell.

"The Church teaches that being gay is not a sin, but acting on it is. I don't entirely buy that. First, are straights not allowed to act on their God given feelings? And secondly, why did God even give gays feelings for other men? And what about the Ten Commandments... there's plenty of emphasis on adultery and coveting your neighbor's wife, but not one word about homosexuals. It just doesn't add up for me. Sin... i.e. gay sin....is like beauty; it's in the eyes of the beholder. At least for me. Example; I have to ask myself if God really condemns anything that feels so wonderful as what you and I felt, when HE is the one who gave us those feelings. You are a child of God, not a mistake, 'cause God don't make mistakes. You are who you were born to be. Hell, God danced the day you were born. But having said all of that, you have to be guided by your own conscience."

I could see he was taking it all in, seriously. I said, "After you think about this, and maybe you'll pray about it, if you decide it was wrong, what we did, that's on me, not you. I'm the adult here."

"I don't know how it could be wrong. I don't see how anything that feels so wonderful could be wrong."

"But you have to decide for yourself. Now, stud, I have to go. It's been great." I got out of the van. "Email me."

"I will," he said.

I headed back to the B&B in the early morning light with the deep feelings of the aftermath of wonderful sex, and also with the usual doubts about the advice and counsel I'd given. But it's what I believe, and if it turns out to be wrong, well that's on me, not the boy. I believe that too.

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