I Was A Mess

I was a mess, my head was a mess, and I know it was a mess! I had a lady friend Susan, that loved me, and I loved her, but I just could never tell her that it really was her father and her brother that I thought were so hot.

My mind was a mess!

From somewhere, ---somehow, ---someway, I knew I was being called to the warm, calm, shores of Hawaii. Not an ad, ---not a publicity stunt, ---not an instruction from a person that I sought help from, ---just from, "out there," ---"somewhere!" But I still did not know, just where! I never heard it, I never read it, it was ---just there! Hawaii, west side, small cove, and people there that loved me! Loved me! How!? I didn't even know anybody in Hawaii!

Transcontinental, and across the Pacific, I was there!

I didn't ask for it, nor did I order it, but a jeep was there, and he knew where I was headed! He was nice, but not acting too happy to see me nor acting too happy having to drive me to the cottage. He did not talk!

He pulled up in front of the cottage, and the sign on top of the porch said, "Aloha, you are home!" Home? Hell, I didn't even know where I was at! Why was I here, and really how did I get here? Yeah, I know, the plane rides, two of `em, long as they were, over the country and then over the water, but I still did not know the "hows" and the "whys"! All I knew was, that from some rather superhuman power, I had been called to Hawaii! And one very specific place and cottage on the western shore.

I crawled out of the jeep, the man of no smiles pulled my bag out of the back, and I walked into the house. I knew nobody, and yet to my shear and complete surprise and my amassment, each one of them, young and old, smart and not so sharp, good looking and not so good looking, all each raised their hands as they rushed toward me, they each yelled, "Hey, here's Jimmy! Jimmy, welcome home!"

I did not know them! I did not know who they were! They knew me! But how?!

I felt as if I walked around in total silence, yet they each and everyone talked to me, and loved on me, as did the little old lady that took me for a walk. Bertha was her name. She told me that she had been on the islands ever since her Daddy had named her Bertha, and that was, as she told me, "a very, very, long time ago!"

She took me by the arm, and told me that I was gonna finally, take a walk of my life, but first, I had to take my shoes off, so I could feel the warmth and the love of the sand sneak up between my toes. And I did, and yes, it did! I took my shoes off, and yes, I did feel the love of the sand, as I felt the love of her hand holding mine!

We walked and with each step she pointed out another, and yet another, great sweet smell of the tropics, or another sweet sight of the water or the trees, or the flowers or the shifting of the sand. Yes, I was finally taking the walk of my life! There was so much beauty in the sights, in the smells, in the touch, and in the love! Yes, in the love of an old lady, more than twice my age, but a lady that knew true love of nature, and of man!

They fed me, and they talked to me. And they smiled at me! And I felt so off base, not feeling the great tropical warmth of love that they shared with all! I felt bad, and mad, that they had so much understanding of life and who they were, and yet my mind was such a mess! I was a mess!

As we talked and we watched such great sights as the sun setting across the great wide waters, or maybe even those waters as they rushed up on shore, or maybe as we smelled the great floral fragrances of the Pacific, they told me things that I really did not understand, but at the end, ---they always told me, "on the night of the third day!" Every time we talked, that was the one main thing that I held in my mind, "on the night of the third day!"

I did not understand it, but then, I was in Hawaii, and I really did not fully understand that, ---either! I still did not know just how and what got me to this island, an island that was showing me more love than I knew was possible. People, young and old, cute and not so cute, ---yeah, some that reminded me of me, but none the less, some people that for some magical reason, really knew me, and yes, I was a mess! I was a mess, but I guess, they loved the mess!

For two days we talked and we shared. Well, they shared, and they had a lot to share, but for me, I really didn't want to share my mess! I listened and I watched. Oh yes, I watched! On this island, in this spot on earth, there was a lot to watch! The slight movement of the trees and the breeze blowing through, was something new to watch! It was all different than what I was used to! Very different! And I guess I really did need something different!

The food was enough, in itself, to make a man a new man! The taste of each morsel was like a bite of heaven! And the ladies that served it did look like angles from above!

On the third day we ate, well on all days we ate, but on this day, it turned out special. All of us, all twelve of us sat around the big strong wooden table. We talked, ---well I listened. I knew I was a mess! Then, ---all of a sudden, I was there all by myself! Nobody had left the table, but yet, I was there all alone! They were gone! I was alone! All alone! For the very first time since I had seen the islands from above, I was all alone! Again, I was confused, and I knew my mind was a mess, and I knew this was the proof of that!

I got up and I walked outside. Nobody was there! I was all alone! Completely alone! All of a sudden, everybody was gone and there I stood! The late afternoon warm tropical sun shown down on me, and I saw my shadow, and my head hanging low!

I started walking. I walked down the beach and I suddenly remembered how Bertha had told me to take my shoes off, ---and I did! I felt the warmth of the sand and the love of the sea, and I loved her for that!

I took my shirt off too. I remembered how the day before, Ralph, a man of the world, had told me to take my shirt off and let the sun of the tropics warm my heart and warm my soul! I wanted to feel the warmth of the air, and I wanted it close to my skin. I felt like I needed the warmth of something, anything, close to me!

I walked and I felt the warmth of the sand, and the warmth of the sun. I smelled the salt of the sea, and I heard the splash of the fish. I finally sat down! I watched the sun set and the warmth and the beauty of the sun rays as they hit the air. I laid back, and I closed my eyes. I was all alone, and I did not know why!

All of a sudden I felt a touch! I looked up, and I thought maybe I was looking into the eyes of King Kamehameha's son. He was beautiful! He was soft to the eyes, and yet strong to the heart! He said nothing, but yet he did! He was talking to me, but not through his mouth! Once again, I was confused, a mess and confused.

As he touched me, he told me, in whatever mystical way he could, that I needed to get in full touch with the world, the beach and the sand, and that I was to stretch out fully, and fully undressed. He "told" me he wanted "all of me" to feel the sand and the love that it gives back!

Without thought, I slid my shorts off! I was on the beach, laying completely nude, on the sand! Jimmy, Jimmy Thompson in the nude, and out of doors! What in the world ever made me do that, I still do not know! Never, hardly even in my own house, do I ever go naked! That is not me! But, now I was, and why!? What was happening to me, that "something" that was so overpowering to me, that I now, was laying there, outdoors, on a beach, nude in front of the entire world and some man, ---a man that I did not even know!

What was I doing, and why? But greater yet, ---why was this all okay? He watched me, and I looked back. Without words he told me to turn over and lay on the sand, and let the sand love me and comfort me. I did, and yes, it did! Never before in my entire life, yes all twenty eight years of it, had I ever felt something so great up against my body. Each grain of sand felt like a kiss of love!

On my face, on my shoulders, on my chest, on my stomach, and yes even, even on my dick, I felt the strength of warmth and love! Never before had I ever felt such a complete fulfillment of joy! I was where I belonged, in the matter in which I belonged.

Softly I felt his hands touch my back, and they touched softly! He rubbed and slid his hands so gently all over my back, my shoulders, my neck, my waist, and yes, even up between the bubbles of my butt! I was in heaven, true heaven! As he rubbed, an oil came from within his hands. It smelled kinda like a coconut oil, and yet with a flower blossom mixed together. It was smooth and it felt great touching my skin! His hands were so comforting!

Softly and slowly he massaged my most private of spots! He opened my hole so slowly that I did not even know that I was now accepting, into me, part of another man. He felt so good, and I felt so happy! For the first time in months and months, I knew I had a smile on my face, and I begged him, without words as he magically talked to me, to please do the rest, and to please let me feel him up, and inside of me! He knew, and how, I do not know how, but he heard me without words. I felt him move onto my back, and I felt him move into a position on my back, that I had lusted for a man to be in, for years and years, now! Slowly and softly he invaded the one, most important spot that I had wanted loved, but had never had the nerve to let any man know!

I laid there with my face in the sand, reaching out to grab handfuls of warm moist sand to get it as close to me as I could, as I offered and begged for my mysterious man of the islands, to lay down deep and hard, and to force my gut down and into the depths of the sand with each and every one of his thrusts, that he was giving to me as if to be giving me a gift! Finally, ---finally, and out on one of the warm beautiful beaches of the island of Hawaii, I was finally getting the answer, to what had been making my mind such a mess! My man of the island was finally showing me who I really was, and what I really wanted in my life! He was now showing me "life," and a life that I had been fighting against, and a life that I had always known was my real and true life! Now I knew, and it had taken a magical moment on one of the most beautiful beaches, of one of the most beautiful islands of the world, to help me understand my true self! Finally, I had accepted a man into me, in total pleasurable acceptance, and in the most complete of ways, and I now knew the true me! I finally knew me, ---the true me!

Once again, without word spoken, I felt my man of strength pull up and out, and without word, he was gone! Gone where, ---I have no idea! There was nowhere for him to be! I looked to my left and I saw within only inches of my face, laying on the sand was one beautiful white orchid, and to my right, one very bright red bird of paradise blossom! He was nowhere to be seen, but he had left behind, one beautiful, very beautiful feeling, back in my backside that I had wondered about and wished for, for a very long time. He had finally fulfilled my quest of really wanting to know, just what it could be like! Finally, and yes it was on the night of the third day, I had finally found peace with myself, and comfort in knowing the true me! I had a smile on my face! And a warmth in my heart!

I stood up, and to my complete and total surprise, I had no sand stuck to me! It had been as if I had slept on a satin sheet, with a man of my true love next to me, and with me! As I stood up I picked up my two flowers.

I put my shorts on and started walking back to the cottage. I had started out as a rather sour person, with a mind in a real mess, but now my walk back to the cottage was with a different pace! My entire body and mind were now different! My body felt great, really great, and my mind was no longer a mess!

As I got closer and closer, I heard laughing and joy. They were back, from wherever, I never did know, but the cottage was full of happy people.

I opened the door to walk in and once again they all looked at me, ---they looked at the two flowers in my hand, and they again yelled, "Hey, here's Jimmy! Jimmy, welcome home!"

Now, with MY arms in the air, and reaching for each and every person that I could touch, I said, "Thank you and yes, ---I'm home! I'm truly home!"

The night was filled with cheers and joys and without question the best foods and drinks that any person could enjoy, and the next day, ---it was time for me to go back to the mainland and resume my normal life, but with a new and a much better understanding of myself.

With my little baggage in hand, I hugged each and every person, and yes, definitely Bertha, my main lady of help and understanding! I gave each and everyone of them a kiss on the cheek, and one of the biggest smiles that any person can spread across their face!

As I got in the jeep, my driver, who I now found out was called "Kona" as a nick name because of all of the native coffee he drank, gave me a smile, and suddenly Rita, the most fabulous cook on any of the islands, came running up beside me, and threw one of the greatest, the biggest and brightest leis around my neck that I have ever seen! Once again she kissed me and told me how glad everybody was that I had, "come home to see them!"

Kona pulled the jeep up to a parking spot, grabbed my bag from in back, handed it to me, and he then grabbed me, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and told me how glad all of them were that I had come to see them! He then told me to be good and to come back whenever I needed to, or wanted to! They would be glad to see me again if necessary, or just whenever I wanted to visit a real special place, for a real special time! I hugged him back and assured him, that some day, my hubby and I, whoever that was gonna be, would be back and to watch for us!

Back to Atlanta and to the busiest airport in the world, and as I got off, with the most beautiful lei that had ever walked though that airport, the crowds separated and stared! They knew I was somebody special, and I finally knew it too!

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written by wadewright