Dealing With It

The sound of distant cries woke me up. I slowly sit up in bed and glance at the alarm clock on the bed side dresser; two o'clock. Great, I think as I pull myself out of bed, I've gotten three whole hours of sleep and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. I walk down the hall to the bedroom at the end of the hall and walk in, flicking on the light. I roll my eyes as I walk over to the crib and pick the baby up. "Shhh... its okay little guy. I gotcha." I whisper rubbing his back trying to calm him down. He lays his head down on my shoulder, slowly tangling his fingers in the long hair on the back of my neck. Once he was calm, I walk around the room trying to get him to go back to sleep. As soon as I lay him down in the crib I hear my dad in the door way.

"He asleep?" he ask as I cover Wyatt with his blanket and turn to look at my father who's standing in the doorway in shorts and a tank top.

"Yeah, he is." I answer yawning as I step away from the crib.

"That's the third time he's woken up tonight." He says as he tugs at his shirt and glances at the crib.

"I know." I say getting a little irritated. "It'd be nice if you'd help a bit with him." I look down at the yellow teddy bear carpet on the floor.

"He's your son, your responsibility."

"Whatever." I say rolling my eyes as I brush past him, a bit pissed off because my dad's an ass and its way too damn early to fight with him.

"Where you going?" he asks as I reach for my bedroom door.

I turn to look at him as I push the door open. "Back to bed, I have class tomorrow." I answer closing the door behind me as I disappear into my room. I lie back in bed pulling the blanket up over my head and try to fall asleep... Unfortunatly for some reason I can't bring myself to clear my head, which really isn't anything new. I turn over on to my side and stare at the glowing numbers on the alarm clock; it amazes me how easily someone's life can change without them having any control over it... like me. I never would have guessed that I, at the age of 19 would have fifteen month of son and a boyfriend. Of course, me having a boyfriend made my dad flip out a little more than me having a child. But it was something that he had to learn to accept if you wanted to have any part in his grandson's life. I know that I've made a lot of mistakes in my life -- but Wyatt isn't one of them. Now, before we get too far ahead, let's start from the beginning... two and a half years ago.

The end of summer vacation was approaching; the days were starting to get shorter, cooler. Most of the summer I had spent staying at my girlfriend Audrey's place, since she lives with her older brother he never really mind me being there. I lay in bed with Audrey, my head in her lap as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Riley.... I'm pregnant." She whispers softly looking down into my eyes. I look at her, a bit in shock.

"What?" I say without thinking as I sit up, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.

"I'm pregnant." She says again, this time smiling as she tucks back her brown hair.

I have no idea how to react, I had planned to come to her house to break things off with her but how could I possibly do such a thing now? "I... is it mine?" I ask, I'm not sure why, there's no way Audrey would ever cheat on me but it just came out.

She looks at me in disbelief. "Of course it's yours." She stands up and I can tell she's upset. "Why would you think it wasn't?"

"I- I'm sorry, it just slipped out." I answer burring my head in my hands. "Um...What are we -- you going to do?"

She looks at me and places her hand on her stomach. "I'm going to keep it. I mean -- it's our child Riley."

I take a deep breath; I cannot believe I'm going to do this. "Audrey, there's something I think I should tell you..." I say nervously biting into one of my finger nails.

She walks slowly over to me and pulls my hand away from my mouth. "Honey don't bite your nails." She says softly sitting beside me. "What is it?"

I take another deep breath and look into her eyes. "Um..." I can feel my palms starting to sweat. "For the past few months... I've sorta been seeing somebody." I flinch slightly, afraid of how she'll react.

She takes a deep breath then stands up. "I suspected so..." she says softly as she walks over to her dresser and turns to look at me. "Who?"

I look at her and bite into another nail. "Um.... Noah...." I say trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

She looks at me again; tears begin to collect in the rims of her eyes. "As in your best friend Noah?" she asks trying to sound calm.

I stand up and dig my toe into my shoe. "Yes..." I whisper under my breath.

Tears start to roll down her cheeks. "How could you Riley -- with a guy?" she asks me as she turns away from me. I let out a heavy sigh and walk towards her. "You knew when we got together that I was bi so don't act like it's a shock."

"I just... I never thought you'd actually cheat on me." She says as she looks at me and then down at the floor.

I let out a sigh. "I didn't cheat on you, nothing happened between Noah and I." I answer as I reach for her but she pushes me away.

"Then what the fuck are you trying to say?"

I slowly look at her as I place my hands in my pockets. "I... I was going to leave you... for him... that's why nothing happened between us because we felt it wouldn't be fair to you." I answer looking into her brown eyes.

"Is that suppose to makes things better Riley?" She snaps. "So what now? I'm pregnant with your child and you're just going to leave me now?"

"I didn't say that." I shout slowly beginning to lose my temper.

She slams her fists down on to the dresser. "Leave! I don't want to talk to you right now. Just... Leave!" she screams bursting into tears.

I know better then to fight with her, so I grab my sweater and leave the house. I don't know what I should do, I know I can't just abandon her; after all she is pregnant with my kid... So.... What do I do?

Become a Patreon to support Taletopia!

written by brittany