For many years I'd entertained sexual fantasies of all sorts....sex with women or girls of all ages and types, and sex with men....particularly older men in their 30s or older, even older than myself at just recently 69 years. My fantasies with men had always revolved around giving them oral sex. The thought of having my mouth on a man's most "private" parts...his penis and testicles....to taste and feel was sexually very arousing to me.
Having been married to the same woman for 40 years...even with a number of extramarital affairs with women....did not alter my thoughts of male-to-male sexual contact. I felt that I needed to experience the "other side" of my sexuality...the homosexual side....to accompany my heterosexual "normal" sexual character.
Finally, after retirement at 67, and not acting on my sexual desires towards men for two years, I broke down and had an encounter with a man, Bob, of 52 years age. Late one night, after a day or two of on-line e-mailing and a solitary phone call, I picked him up in my car and gave him oral sex to completion and actually swallowed his ejaculate. It was wonderful! Wow...what a thrill! The married bi-sexual gentleman's reaction was more than I'd hoped.
He bucked and bellowed to my mouth tongue and lips working, licking, sucking, and loving his penis and testicles until I was rewarded with plentiful warm semen that forcefully spurted and found its way from my mouth into my throat while I eagerly swallowed everything he could give me. I loved it! I'd given such a sexaul pleasure to a man! I knew exactly what he'd felt, too, being a man as he was. I was elated.
Since that night in February I have been with 18 different men and provided oral sex to all of them. A number of them have experienced my service numerous times, and some of them have reciprocated. I plan to continue to satisfy my urges for male-to-male sex and enjoy the intimacy of oral sexual contact with men who appreciate the thrill of a man being willing to have his mouth used as a receptacle to pleasure a man to orgasm, and to then honor him by swallowing his semen.
However, lately a new aspect to my sexual desires with men has emerged. I have begun to fantasize being completely at a man's disposal...to please him in ways that I only recently had thought too kinky or too out of my realm of desires. Just giving or receiving oral sex is no longer the total pack of sexual wants for me. I now believe I need a psychological and some new physical elements for m/m sex to satisfy me. I want a man to take me with force...against my will...to make me suck him off while I resist and protest.
Also, I want a man to force himself upon me with foreplay that I normally don't seem to want. I want him to treat me like a man treats a woman who he's taking... against her will or with consent. I want him to begin kissing me...lips, neck, shoulders, face, inserting his tongue into my mouth and demanding I respond. I want to feel and taste him dropping his saliva into my mouth and asking....no, demanding that I respond in kind.
I want my face and head to be grabbed tightly while he's probing my mouth with his tongue and kissing me forcefully and lustfully, and I need to feel his breath becoming irregular as his passion builds and his body humps mine while he's on top of me and forcing my legs apart so that he can nestle his masculine lower torso between my thighs while I begin to submit and spread my legs to wrap them around his waist...like a woman is prone to do when she finally gives herself completely to her man. Whether role-play or a real experience of being taken by a man against my will, this is what I've now begun to long for.
or I think that while this is happening, and my will to resist begins to crumble, I will experience an unimaginable thrill...the thrill of being overwhelmed by masculinity and male lust. This will make me fall in love with my "seducer" who started out in my mind as my rapist. When he cums, either from dry humping me in the missionary position, or by forcing his cock into my mouth to my muffled protests and ejaculates in it to make me swallow his sperm, or by turning me on my stomach and forcing his way into my rectum with his throbbing erection to flood my colon with his seed....I will feel the thrill of a man's possession of me in the most intimate way a man can possess another man. The warmth and wetness of my "rapists" semen in my mouth, or on my stomach, or in my ass will be a triumph for me as well as for him, and I will have fallen in love with him for what he's done to me.
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