My life completely changed the day my wife died, I was 35 and she was 55. One day there was a knock on the door, it was the police. My wife had had a heart attack at work and died. I of course was in shock as a loved her dearly even though by this time I had realised I was gay.
Let me explain we had been married for 10 years, and when I married her I was, like a lot of gay guys, denying that I was gay. She was more like a mother and companion to me, than a lover, and by the end of her life we had both realised that I was gay, but no one else knew.
The funeral came and went in a whirl and I became depressed. As I sank deeper into depression I decided the only way to get out of it was by coming out as gay. So I invited my two step sons Mark and John over and then told them I was gay.
"You're not!" Mark said.
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"Yes I really am, I loved your mother, and she knew I was gay. I did not want to hurt her so we agreed not to reveal it whilst she was alive."
"I thought you might be" said John, "and it really does not matter, we will support you, won't we Mark?"
"Er yes!" he replied.
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In the weeks that followed I came out to my friends. Some accepted me, but I lost a lot of friends, some became right down abusive and homophobic.
Work was OK, as my manger said when I told him in private.
"Adam that's a relief, I thought you were telling me you were leaving! Now I don't think you will have any trouble with anyone, as we have a gay friendly policy here. Let me assure you that we will not tolerate any kind of homophobic abuse. I don't think you will get any, but if you do just let me know and I will deal with it."
That's what happened, most people were OK with me, and there were just a few that became more distant, or avoided me.
So I settled down to a normal life again, but that was not to last for long. So far I had only said I was gay, but had not done anything about it, so one Saturday I decided to do something about it. I had been shopping in Manchester and decided to walk down Canal Street at the heart of the gay village. As it was still early there were not many people on the street, but I was still nervous as I was actually walking down a gay street! I resolved to return later on in the evening.
I came back around 9:30pm and the street was crowded, people going in and out of bars. Finally I made up my mind and went in one called Manto and got a beer, they gave it me in a plastic glass so I could go outside, which I did. After finding somewhere to stand I just watched other people on the street. I must have been obvious because a guy standing near me said
"Are you new here?"
"Yes." I said "I haven't been here before; I've only just come out."
"Well welcome to the club." He said shaking my hand. "I'm Jack by the way, and I can show you around if you want."
"Adam," I replied "and I would very much like that."
"OK as its crowded here we better hold hands as I don't want to lose you."
With that we grabbed hold of each other's hands and he showed me Canal Street from the New Union to Taurus. As the night went on I began to fancy him, but was too scared to do anything about it, until he pulled me to him and kissed me. I could not believe it I had just been kissed by a man and it was fantastic.
He said "Would you like to go back to my place, I only live a short distance away?"
I was not sure but here was my chance so I said "OK why not!"
He led me away from the gay village and we soon approached his house, as we got near it I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing, but decided I had come this far I may as well go all the way. He opened the front door and we went inside, it was very much a gay man's room, with statuettes of men holding each other, and a picture of a naked man on the wall.
As soon as we were in and the door was closed he kissed me again, and this time I kissed him back passionately. I was really enjoying this and starting to get a hard on. He took my tee-shirt off then put his hand between my legs feeling my dick, this was so good I could not believe it. For the first time in my life I felt like a man doing what was the right thing for me. I wasted no time taking his tee-shirt off, and then I dared to put my hand between his legs and feel his dick. It was strange, wild emotions ran through me, feeling another man's dick even through his clothes felt strange but good and right.
Then we went to the next stage we slipped each other's pants and underpants off and stood there naked admiring each other's dick and balls, but not for long. Soon we were groping each other he had a nice 8" dick, and mine is a respectable 51/2". I could not believe what was happening to me and expected to wake up any moment, but this was real. Then he knelt down and started sucking me off boy was I in heaven. He worked his tongue up and down my shaft sending me into ecstasy, I began to feel that I was going to come, and said so. He stopped and started kissing me again.
Now it was my turn I had never sucked a guy's dick before but wanted to, so I knelt down. His dick was at eye level, nice round and long, I licked the tip with my tongue, it felt so good. Then I began to take it in my mouth, it just seemed to come natural.
He moaned "Oh for a first time you are a natural!"
I was pleased with this and continued to suck him tasting his salty pre-cum.
He started moaning then pushed me off him saying "I don't want to cum yet!"
We now went to his bedroom and things began to hot up more. We kissed more passionately whilst feeling each other's dicks.
He said, "I want to fuck you!"
I wasn't sure but by this time I could not have cared less, I wanted everything, so I said "Yes OK!"
He turned me on my back, and suddenly his tongue was licking my arsehole, I could not describe the pleasure this caused me. The he put one finger up my arse, two, then three this was sheer pleasure, I totally relaxed. Then he took some lube and lubed my arse up, whist slipping a condom on his dick.
"Go easy!" I said.
"I will just relax."
He placed the tip of his dick against my arsehole, and then pushing very slowly eased it in. At first it hurt then as I began to relax it began to feel good. Slowly he fucked me, this felt great, and then he increased speed until we were both moaning and groaning from pleasure. Soon I began to feel I was cumming then with a yell I came, just after that he pulled out of me and came.
After we had come down from a high I said "That was great."
"Perhaps we can do it again some time." He replied.
"You never know!"
Afterwards I got dressed, and left. I knew I would see him again, and I also knew life would never be the same again. I was awake for the first time and had broken out!
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